I cannot believe my time to be a mommy is in 7 weeks! A part of me is excited to meet this little man whom I will look after for the rest of my life and another part of me is very nervous and anxious. I’m not sure if mothers have ever felt the need to control everything around them, out of fear that they won’t be good enough for their children or do a good job of raising a good man/woman. I just want to do my best to raise a happy, healthy, and whole human being.
These past 8 months have been a rollercoaster of emotions and experiences. I am definitely not the girl I used to be and my priorities have definitely changed. So many of the close people around me have told me that I have turned into an old lady (LOL). Not quite, but I feel so many changes happening within me and I believe it is truly a miraculous experience. I see things from a different perspective now and although it has not been easy transition, it is one I am truly grateful for.
Aside from the internal changes, all these physical changes have been taking place. From the leakage of milk from my nipples, to the little stretch marks on my belly, I have witnessed my body transform. I’ve cried a few times..It isn’t exactly easy to look at a picture of yourself, about 20 pounds heavier than you once used to be. Perhaps if I was older, I would have gotten the whole body image issue out the way, but it’s still there a bit because I am surrounded by all these other young ladies who have great bodies in their 20s! Gradually I have come to accept that I am a woman and I am creating a little human being. He is certainly worth all the stretch marks, pounds, and bodily discomforts of pregnancy! I look forward to starting up my ardent fitness journey with my son, which was something I was into before I got pregnant.
But being fit is far from it at this moment..I am getting to this stage where I feel very uncomfortable. The fact that it is summer does not help at all. On the bright side, I have been swimming so much and enjoying the sun kiss my skin. I always think of the future moments when I will take my little Ari bun to swim, teaching him to trust and confide in the water and watching his chunky little arms and feet maneuver around the water. Although I am excited and anxious to meet him, I have so many things I have to do and prepare for! I am fine waiting for him..breathlessness and all. I will be working on the nursery and cleaning out all the clutter to have this precious bundle of joy in a cozy environment with some good feng shui.